I’ve been with my partner for little over 2 years. Were both in our early 30′s. We love each other dearly. We want to get married. My partner gets scared sometimes. Sometimes he gets so excited to want to marry me. Other times, he’s afraid to get married. His parents have a different kind of a relationship unlike my parents. My parents have a great relationship. I love my partner a lot regardless of his past. He told me things about his past that he used to do like smoke pot, cigarettes, etc. He’s also had sex before too. For some reason his past doesn’t bother me. In the beginning, when I found out he had sex several times I had to learn to just forget about it. I had to like him for who he was regardless of his past. Plus, at 30 years old it’s impossible to find a virgin. I’m a virgin. There is one problem in the relationship that I struggle with. I struggle with kissing. It’s not that I don’t like kissing my partner, I do. I just don’t understand kissing. When I kiss him I get those feelings. I even get so nervous. I’ve explained this too him. We’ve never had a passionate kiss. It’s so hard for me because I can’t seem to kiss well. He knows it. I’ve cried about it. My partner worries that my kissing problem could effect us when we do get married. I hate the fact that I struggle with kissing. I’m someone who is afraid to do things. I get scared just like my partner gets scared to get married.
My partner and I have so much in common. We both enjoy each others company. We both have learning disabilities. He’s a driver and I’m studying to be a school teacher. Their are so many things that I always look forward to doing with my partner. We’ve had a good relationship with a few bumps in the road. We’ve managed to always work out those bumps. I’ve been told that relationships aren’t always easy. I never realized that until now.
I just need some advice on my situation. How many of you have struggled with kissing in your relationship? That is the only main issue that is a struggle in our relationship. Prior to my partner I’ve never really dated anyone else. I love my partner so much and I try so hard to be affectionate. It hurts me that I struggle with kissing. I was given advice from my mother who said that when my partner and I get married we would be build a bond together. Meaning when we would have sex we would build that together. It’s tough because I’m a virgin and I will wait until after I get married to have sex. I’m looking forward to the new experience. Why I do I struggle in this area?
Chosen Answer:
i have no idea what to say — this is totally outside anything i have experienced —- kissing is nothing — its a sign of affection and with practice you get better at it — the best suggestion i can offer is have sex — you are both committed to this relationship so whats holding you back??? — if you think its better to wait until you are married at your ages no its not — get it over with — you already have a bond — sex will either strengthen it or break it (and wouldnt it be better to find out now before you get married) — as for kissing do it more often and if you have feelings then you are doing it right — you are supposed to have feelings — best wishes
